rumors of war in Portland
warriors patriots ho

rumors of rigged elections
round up the troops for show 

ignore the chants of epstein
crank up the noise some mo’

comey soros fani too
cuff ‘em rough ‘em ev’ry foe

tik tok tariffs save milei
CANKLES! can you see my toe

ignore the cries of epstein
amplify the woe

curse the gen'ral assembly
windmills solar and snow

government shutdown blame the left
tylenol autism WHERE'S MY TOE?

brendan blondi DOJ
find them all and MAKE THEM PAY!

damn that statue on the mall
CANKLES! south park DAMN THEM ALL!

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“When I was a young man courting the girls . . . .”

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photo credit: Julia Demaree Nikhinson/Associated Press

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